Tread softly

I am done with the American dream for a while. It was Dom's dream anyway - and a beautiful one for what that is worth. But it is exhausting trying to make dreams reality, when everything conspires against us. I have put work and study on hold in order to focus my energy and money on this one thing, but I should have realised that if it was meant to be it would have come easier than this, would not have required such sacrifices.

But when you love someone you try and give everything you have to realise their dreams. Now I sit and type and watch my beloved wolf who is flaked out on the bed, drained of energy and hope. It is easier for me, I don't have children who miss me and I am used to this rootless gypsy existence. But he will learn or I will learn to let him go.

After a pause to let the windblown leaf of my imagination settle, I can go back to the British Council jobs board and consider my options in a concrete way - the Middle East, Sri Lanka, or back to Bangkok. Or possibly I should do that PGCE that I have been promising myself for years. The world is ours, as long as it is not (currently) America.

Thus the clarity of my new header. I am focusing on Northern Thailand right now.

I am so sorry Dom, I trod on your dreams.

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats

Persistence

At last I am back. There is a story behind my absence... and I don't just mean a steady stream of excuses. If you cast your cursor back to my very first post you will recall that the whole reason I started this blog was because I bough a sexy new phone that could publish directly to blogger. I had previously been a wordpress fan, but that little bit of functionality persuaded me to switch and I am glad I did for many reasons.

However it turned out that the set up of the phone / blog connection was dependent on my SIM card. A SIM card I lost in England this Christmas (Dom's fault).

Of course I could have got a new SIM card with my old number, it is a relatively simple process, except it isn't if your old package is registered in your ex-husband's name and requires you to contact your ex-husband and ask him to send you a signed photocopy of his ID card.

So I bought a new SIM card. Which, it turns out after I had bought it, didn't have automatic internet access. Or MMS for that matter. So I got the leaflet on how to register for these 'economical value-added services' and attempted to register. Of course I was connected to an automatic selection system that was all in Thai, and although I thought I had hit all the right buttons, I couldn't be sure and the outcome was a resounding FAIL when I attempted to publish to my blog.

But I didn't give up. Today I took my phone to dtac and asked them to set me up with MMS and email. I felt vindicated when it took them 20 minutes, as there was some issue connecting my phone to the internet even when I was registered. They were great by the way... they persisted too, even when I am sure they were tempted to throw my phone at me and give me the happy smile, along with the explanation free "sorry cannot" that I begin to dread when dealing with Thai services.

I then had to set up a NEW blog before transferring the connection to this blog. But I got there with persistence.

Glorious persistence... maybe I will get to America in 2010 after all.

And, yes that's my bra in the photo - isn't it a wonderful colour?